What is therapy?
Introduction
Last Sunday, I went to Marine drive and interviewed a few people of different age groups on their opinion on therapy. All responses I got were a variation of ‘Therapy is necessary for those who need it so that they can talk to someone and open up to them during a difficult time.’ In retrospection, I realised a couple of things a) the distinction between the us and them-those who should take therapy is evident and informs us of the underlying social stigma and b) the understanding of what therapy is, is in fact, vague. This got me thinking, what would be the outcome if I had asked people what, according to them, is therapy instead?
According to APA, “Psychotherapy refers to any psychological service provided by a trained professional that primarily uses forms of communication and interaction to assess, diagnose, and treat dysfunctional emotional reactions, ways of thinking, and behaviour patterns.” Looking at this definition and the responses I received, it is well understood that psychotherapy, or therapy, in essence is a way of communication and interaction between the therapist and the client in order to deal with challenges that the client is facing. But then, how will talking about my issues make them go away? The answer, ironically, is that it won’t. Therapists don’t have a magic wand that they will wave, and everything will be alright. It is a process in which work is done in collaboration, so that the client is equipped with tools to deal with their issues on their own.
One of the most influential existential psychotherapists, Irvin Yalom, calls therapy a “dress rehearsal” for life. I find it very interesting that he describes the therapist and the client as fellow travellers. Therapy is like a journey, and the bond of a therapist and a client is exactly like that of fellow travellers. Both have much to gain from each other, and the relationship between the therapist and the client eventually becomes the vehicle of change. It involves commitment, disclosure and is deeply, deeply personal.
The aim, however, is not that the client calls the therapist up for a session every time an anxiety-provoking issue crops up in their life, but rather, the aim is that the client won’t need to after the journey is over and the destination is reached.
Clients usually have a number of questions in the initial session: How will it work? How do I know if it is working? How long will it take? What approaches do you use?
The process of therapy, like I mentioned earlier, is deeply, deeply personal. Because the very nature of therapy is dynamic, ever-evolving, and so personal, it takes varying durations in number of sessions for each patient. It depends on the nature of the presenting issue, the regularity and frequency of sessions, the therapeutic goals decided between the client and the therapist, any immediate crisis that crops up during the sessions, level of insight and resilience of the client, their receptiveness, and openness to the therapist.
One of the most basic virtues of therapy, and one of the reasons it works, is just the sheer humanness of it. The therapist provides the client with a safe, non-judgmental, and positively supportive environment which enables the client to just, be. The “I’m not alone in this” has more power than you know—it brings about lasting change.
While therapy has a lot of benefits, one must be informed of the risks that it may also impose. Yes, you read me right. Risks. There is growth and empowerment in therapy, that is true. But some sessions may be emotionally heavy. Some sessions may bring up feelings of discomfort and may feel intense. Sit with it. Examine what’s happening. It will tell you, more often than not, all you need to know. After all, no change is possible without some discomfort.
Just like in a jigsaw puzzle, not every piece fits the other, not every client and therapist are the right fit for each other. It is of utmost importance that the client and the therapist are the right fit for each other. How can you tell? The most important indicator, according to APA (and me) is your level of personal comfort with the therapist. You can also refer to my blog 5 indicators your therapist is the right fit for you (or not).
There are as many worlds as there are people. And therapy, it is a journey you decide to undertake with a fellow traveller, which can lead to lasting changes, growth, and eventually a more fulfilled life.
